The American Dream
When writing this letter, I struggled with the words I would say. I struggled with how I would tell them and with the thought of how others would perceive them. I was afraid that the world would look at me differently and not understand my world or the process it took to get me here. So quite naturally, I did what I would normally do best. I went into a bubble.
My bubble. My wonderland.
However, I began to question this place to which I would escape so often. I questioned it because of its comfort, peace, stability, and sense of security. I wanted, for so long, to know why this place was so special to me. I wanted to know why I created it and what it was created by. I wanted to know if this place was created out of false insecurities or if it was something that everyone retreated to in his or her own way.
And then it came to me. I was battling something I couldn’t see or touch physically.
I created this world based on my imagination and fear. A world that is so beautiful that it became my reality and my central domain. It became something that I created because of a dream planted in my head by those who groomed me into believing that I alone wasn’t good enough for this world. It became my sole interpretation of this so-call ‘thing’ that people would call an American Dream.
But what exactly is the American Dream? And is it even remotely possible to achieve?
Does it mean owning a house by the time you’re thirty? Is it reaching financial stability? Or is it being able to do whatever it is you enjoy doing in life?
What exactly is it and why am I so desperate to have it?
I mean…The government defines these dreams as a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers.
But what about those, besides myself, who have given so much and are left with nothing in the end? Are they forgotten? Are they considered failures because they didn’t live up to social standards? Or did they just not quite figure it out yet?
But whatever the case may be, I want to know if it is retainable?
Not just for myself, but also for those who spend a lifetime chasing it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know everyone’s life or struggle. I only know what I’m living for and what I’m chasing.
I just know that this battle of bringing my world into realization has been a tricky road to travel. From graduating top of the class to facing several long hard years of unemployment, my wonderland has been a safe haven and a dose of reality at the same time. It has left me broken and some days confused. I’ve cried and laughed and even yelled at the top of my lungs.
But what I’ve noticed through it all, is that I am not alone in this battle nor am I afraid anymore. I have accepted my reality as well as realized that maybe my wonderland is just that. And just maybe, my American Dream is whatever I choose to make it out to be.